Chasing a Dream is Hard!

I've been looking for a new job for two months now and have applied for over fifteen companies. They all were rejected, and I only had one interview session, which was just a screening interview with Human Resources. I didn't even know why I was rejected.

Honestly, I expected to get rejected in this job hunt, and I've been prepared to accept that if I didn't get the job. However, seeing the rejection email still did not feel good to me.

I was expecting that the recruiter would give me some feedback about what was wrong with my resume, but it seems the recruiter didn't give a damn about me 😥.

And yeah, chasing dreams is hard, and making them come true as fast as possible makes it even harder.

Is hard to enjoy the process, we will always think that we have done all the advice from other people but nothing works. Even worse, we don't have anyone to share this feeling with.

Why I'm looking for new job?

Right now, I have a great job and I have a great coworker, so everything is going well for me. But here's why I'm looking for a new job.

• I have a dream to build a House for my family, I know I can save money from my current salary but I believe I can make more.
• Currently I work with agency, so it's hard to get the rise of my wage.
• Backend Developer position using Golang and Node.js was my preference. I have been waiting for about 2 years to get an opportunity to work on a project that uses Golang, but so far I haven't gotten the chance.
• I was expecting to get $5k monthly.

What i've done so far?

While I've been searching for a new job, I've been doing some work for that.

1. Rebuilding this website to show case my side project and writing a blog post.
2. Builing portfolio project Heline.dev
3. Apply for about 18 job opportunity (all rejected 😞).
4. Actively sharing on twitter about golang code snippet here.
5. Reading a lot of advise from interisting blog about personal growth and anything that useful for me to get a new job.
6. Writing a blog post here.

Nevertheless, I know I haven't done it optimally, I know some of my content is not of decent quality, but I'm working towards improving it.

What I have got so far?

Although not everything went well, there was one good thing I got.

1. I learn a lot of new thing about Golang.
2. Got $100 by contributing to opensource project remotion.
3. Learning about nextjs by rebuilding this website.
4. Learning to deploying Go application to heroku from building Backendjob.dev.
5. Learning about GCP ( Google Cloud Platform ).

I wouldn't have gotten this if I didn't look for a new job.

What next?

Whenever I feel sad, I write about it, and this time I decided to share that feeling in this blog post. Despite working as a programmer for more than six years, I still feel like I don't know anything.

I think there are a lot of people that feel the same way, whenever they are searching for a new job they were always rejected even though they have experience. The companies also rejected them because they considered them as not qualified enough for the job.

As for me, I feel like giving up this day, and this feeling seems unavoidable.

But yeah, I think I need to get a break for blindly applying job opportunity that scattered on the internet.

Yet I believe this journey isn't over yet, we're just getting started and maybe for now it's hard. Nobody's perfect.

I will continue learning, blogging, and networking, and hope to connect with people that share my values. I believe there's an opportunity that's waiting for me, I just haven't seen it yet.