Confide: Feeling so empty

Image from Unsplash by Chris Ainsworth

Confide: Feeling so empty

I don't know why, but i always had this anxiety when i don't finish my work. This is happen lately because i can not focus on everything's i do day to day.

Maybe because i have a lot to do, there is always new thing came out of my mind everyday, it seems that ideas attack my brain.

Sometime i hate having a bunch of crazy idea on my mind.

This could be of my lonely.

Hemm, talking about lonely i think that might be one of my problem in my life.

I have been trying to talk to somebody else, but i don't know sometime it really boring, it like just no one knowing what thinks going on, on my mind.

I did not know if you having this same issue on life, when i was young i have a lot of friends, even if i don't always have things that i want as a child like a toy, food or even a girl friend at that time, but i always have a friend.

We always have excited things to do everyday. Like the world never have a problem, we do our thing something that fun.

But as we grow up, we have less free time to do the fun things in life.

We all have our own activities now, which is why I feel that the fire of creativity has faded.

I remember the first time that i graduate from school, i feel so excited to face the live after school. Yes, it was challenging at first to try something different without even thinking about what food I would be eating tomorrow.

I had always believed that whatever I was doing at that time would have an impact on my life. and yeah it did, my life is changing now.

I'm married now, have two kids, have a good jobs and my life just feel so perfect.

But when i have a free time when i'm not with my kids and my family i feel so empty.

I have no friend now. I don't have an activity that fun, make my day so excited.

sometime i just want to do stupid thing with a friend but again i don't have it.

i live in a city now, but i have no neighbor, i mean neighbor that i can talk to, neighbor that can be a friend to me.

I know i should feel grateful about my life.

But you know sometime you will feel so empty.

sometime i just want to talk with the stone, "Hi stone why are you lonely here? Why do you dont't have a friend? How do you live your life? Please talk to me, why you live like that?"

but at the end of the day i will just accept this reality.

I know there's a lot of people that having so many friend but they doing what they friend want not what they want, and that's not fun.

At least i can do anything i want to do, and i'm not forcing by anyone else to do that.